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OH MISERICORDIA

2009-07-19 19:45:55 by zhavas
Updated

HAD I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

OH MISERICORDIA


ALALALALALALALALALA

2009-02-08 16:05:50 by zhavas

ONE DAY MANKIND WILL COMMIT HOLY WARS IN SPACE

FIGHTING EVIL

SPACE EVIL

ALALALALALALALALALA


it was some rate fookin shit mate

2008-10-01 11:22:58 by zhavas

i'm all ballsin' an' sum shit all summer like bingin' tha fuck an' smokin' like and 'was rate bangin' mate, but now m'all fookin messed in th'head cuz 'eartbreak'll do ya in.

I fookin swears it 'eartbreak'll be th'fookin end of me.

it was some rate fookin shit mate


tuyjjfyjyytfutyjfuyjf

2008-07-07 12:01:38 by zhavas

mup da doo didda po mo gub bidda be dat tum muhfugen bix nood cof bin dub ho muhfugga

tuyjjfyjyytfutyjfuyjf


shit is goin daaaaaooown

2008-06-08 08:54:13 by zhavas

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shit is goin daaaaaooown


Dogs of war

2007-12-02 09:57:48 by zhavas

One world and it's a battleground.
One world and we're gonna smash it down.

Dogs of war


the bad and the ugly

2007-10-19 05:28:19 by zhavas

Your tiny intoxicated brain, seemingly bobbing about in a skull full of oil, wanders whilst you're sitting bare-ass on a doctor's examination table. The thin paper-towel covering it riding up your crack, slightly. For a moment, you contemplate the embarrassing gravitas of leaving a skidmark on it.

These thoughts are quelled.

"Sir, your social security coverage is only 65% for this procedure, you'll still pay 2000 Euros in the end."

"AW FUCKIN SHIT DUDE. I THOUGHT THIS WAS FUCKIN FREE. FUCK."

"And your urine sample tested positive for marijuana, which is also going on your permanent health record."

"GODDAMIT MAN I THOUGHT YOU HAD LIKE A CONFIDENTIALITY OATH THAT YOU FUCKIN SWORE OR SOME SHIT. THIS IS SOME FUCKED UP MAN I'M TOTALLY FUCKED NOW. ARE YOU GONNA CALL THE COPS OR SOMETHIN?"

"No, we're-"

"CUZ IM HIGH RIGHT NOW IM NOT FUCKIN KIDDING. GIVE ME THE FUCKIN TOOLS AND SCALPELS AND SHIT AND IM DOIN' IT MYSELF. LIKE I CAN WRITE YOUR BILL OFF AS A CONSULTANCY EXPENSE, RIGHT? YOU JUST TELL ME WHAT TO DO MAN AND I'LL FUCKIN DO IT."

"What I'm trying to say is quite complex, sir. I'd appreciate if you could listen carefully to what I'm about to tell you."

"YEAH OK, FUCK."

"Are you totally listening to this right now?"

"YEAH YEAH I AM MAN."

"The penile implant you've selected would require several skin grafts on your genitals in order to accommodate its' girth, so we've looked into possible donors and so far, have managed to find two square meters of penis skin."

"WOW SO DID YOU SEW IT ALL TOGETHER AND LIKE FUCKIN MAKE A PONCHO OR SOME SHIT? I MEAN CUZ I WANT IT NICE AND NEAT LOOKING. NOT LIKE SOME FUCKIN PATCHWORK BURRITO."

"Sir, I'm finding it harder and harder to contain how completely stoned I am right now, and if I crack up laughing and tripping at work, I could totally get fired and like, end up homeless and shit."

"WHAT?"

"what?"

"MY DICK IS GONNA BE SO BIG."

the bad and the ugly


'prhjitroiyngms;lbdsogk

2007-10-01 20:30:59 by zhavas
Updated

nature is a beautiful, beautiful thing.


IM JEWISH

2007-09-30 12:20:20 by zhavas

I OWN YOUR DAD'S JOB
I OWN YOUR HOUSE
I OWN THE IMAGE RIGHTS TO YOUR MOM
I OWN GEORGE CLOONEY AND HIS FUCKING EXPRESSO MACHINES

IM JEWISH